Number twos

Posted by Penni on 11 July 2009 | 33 Comments

Tags: parenting, children, toddler, family, decision

It's a tough decision, one that we are currently in the midst of trying to make (and trying to avoid making at the same time). Should we have another?

I remember in the week following Child number One's arrival (not sure why I have to prescribe a number...he is Only Child at present), when husband was on his generous one week Paternity Leave and baby simply slept and fed, we took a walk around the block. We pushed the stroller proudly, beaming as we went and we (get ready for it) contemplated having another. Fast forward more than three years and we are still a family of three. Why? For starters, I think we're still trying to adjust to parenthood and the changes that that has meant for us as a young couple. Then travelling (well, not just travelling but a year or so of living overseas) hit the agenda and here we are, nearly at the end of our travels and contemplating what life holds when we reach home again.

The topic comes up time and time again (during Happy Times) and each time we hit a brick wall in our decision making. Pros and cons. What is a valid reason to go back for another, to introduce another being into the family? Does simply wanting the first child to have a sibling warrant another pregnancy, birth and parenting journey? Does the age gap matter, and if so, are we getting close to the border of too big a gap to justify the sibling argument? How ready and clucky and enthused do you need to be for number 2? Do you have to wait for the same deep maternal urge or is it simply a matter of getting on with the business of expanding the family? Does a tough adjustment period with the first mean more of the same and is this a factor in the equation?

If I listen to the demands of my three year old, it looks like we're going back for another one...or two. “I want a baby sister! … and a baby brother. I want both!”