Come play

Posted by Penni on 3 September 2009 | 10 Comments

Tags: parenting, children, play, protect, belong, language

Heart breaking, I tell you, seeing him try to befriend other children, join in with them, laugh with them. And then realising that he cannot understand them, they cannot understand him and worse still, they don't want him around.

It's fair to say he's been deprived of playmates since we've been on the road. We can be pretty good fun to play with, but Mum and Dad just aren't the same - we don't have the limitless energy, the raw enthusiasm or the ability to 'lose' ourselves at the playground. We're too tall, too wide and too sensible.

In France he found a boy of similar age who was happy to be followed around, and while language was somewhat of a barrier, it did not stop them from sharing a joke (about what, I have no idea!), pretending to drive a train and climbing a ladder side by side. He enjoyed this interaction so much that when this boy's grandfather beckoned him, we were left with a slightly confused, deflated and teary little boy. Where was his little friend going and why? I was able to explain that it was time for him to get ready for bed, and this seemed a satisfactory response.

Today, however, was different. Whilst at a public playground in Italy he found a few children who were roughly his age to follow around. For a little while they didn't really notice that he was hot on their heels, copying every move and running as fast as he could to keep up. We laughed a little to ourselves, enjoying witnessing his desire to interact and belong. Then one of the little girls became unsure of his involvement and tried telling him so in Italian. He didn't understand and so carried on. Realising that he wasn't getting the message (and probably simply assuming that he was either an annoying or really dense little boy), she raised her voice at him and shoved him in the chest.  He stood there looking at her, not understanding what had just gone on and not knowing how to react. He looked towards us and we all dropped our lower lips and felt our hearts sink. It wasn't a matter of bedtime for her, she just didn't want him around.

What a deep, deep instinct and urge it is to protect our kids from harm and emotional upset. And what a massive, unrealistic aim it is to do so completely. I sense a new chapter of parental learning coming on.