...and then there were four

Posted by Penni on 23 January 2010 | 5 Comments

Tags: parenting, pregnancy, family, conflict, adjustment

At an intellectual level, he gets it. "When the baby comes, there will be a mum, a dad, a boy and a baby. That's four." Correct. At an emotional level, I'm not too sure.

I'm a pretty useless playmate these days - I can't run or jump, give wizzies or carry him on my back like a monkey. I can't sit on the floor and do puzzles or attempt to construct things with Lego without my pelvis beginning to crumble, and I think it's taking its toll. My little boy has adopted teenage attitude, BIG time, and perhaps it's an expression of frustration and the need to feel in control of something in his life. He speaks agressively, pushes, hits, flat out refuses to do things inspite of the knowledge that there are consequences (that will cause grief when the reality of them sets in). Is it attention seeking? Is the unborn brother or sister already stealing his thunder and diverting precious energy and attention from his little world?

Days together can be long and frought with conflict and it's at these times that he cries for his daddy. He's never really done that before and I think I expected to feel rejected and hurt by his demands for a daddy hug and kiss at nine thirty in the morning. Secretly? I'm thinking, 'Mate, if i could swap places with him right now, that'd be really great.' But I'm his mummy and I love him too, even if there if a baby brother or sister waiting in the wings. We're just going to have to work harder at cementing his place in the family unit and convincing him that although mummy is a pathetic playmate, he is still her big boy and she loves him very much.